For the last month or so my To do List just gets longer and longer, and it does not matter how many things I accomplish every day it feels like I am adding more items than I am crossing out. I used to get immense enjoyment out of writing my lists and goals and deadlines and then crossing things out, but as a Spa Director it just does not work that way. To try and make things run smoother and avoid misunderstandings on what needs to be done by when, I developed a system in which my management team and I share our calendars/appointments, etc. I even send it to the GM's Executive Assistant just to make sure that if I am not on site or have something big going on at the Spa my darling boss is not also expecting me to "sit" in a three hour meeting. Yeap! It happens that is the main reason I came up with the calendar sharing.
Why am I upset? Well, because I feel I have no control over my days no matter how much I plan or how hard I try. I had this entry on everyone's calendar and notes; "Please team, Mr. R, everyone, do not forget that I am OFF on 3/16 - J's school performance, can not miss this one! Or be late!" At 9am yesterday (3/16!) I get a call from my boss's assistant to tell me that I was needed for an urgent meeting at 11am with Mr. R, that it was mandatory and it would be short since he was aware I have to be someplace else by 2pm. I felt like I should not have answered the call but since they pay for my cell phone with the intent and purpose of being able to call me anytime, I always feel like I should not answer, even on my days off. I have to get smarter about this.
So to the meeting I went; Mr. R was furious, he called in every department head, we made the paper with a very bad customer review and it was on the Internet too. Our owner called Mr. R yelling at him, the PR office called Mr. R asking for details so they could spin it and the lawyers called Mr. R to explain how much this situation might end up costing the company. Mr. R called us to yell at us and explain the situation to us, especially to me since the Spa was apparently the worst offender in the eyes of the customer!!!! So I was in deep and I had no idea yet what the complain was about, when did it happen, nothing. He was not happy, I was not happy, nobody was happy. He wanted print outs, receipts, security phone logs. He had us all run back to our offices with the name of the client, the dates of their stay to get anything and everything we had on them. He wanted my notes on the initial complaint, he did not like the apology letter I had sent the client. He did not like how anyone handled this guest. I could not remember the specific details he wanted because I was thinking of J and how upset he would be that I was yet one more time putting work ahead of him and my motherly obligations, and also because the incident was from two months ago and in my view it had been handled to the customer's satisfaction. I could not get more details unless I went back to my office to go through my notes, agendas, appointment book but I was not about to volunteer to do that. Yes, I understood how upsetting and bad for the company this situation was, but I also felt that we would not help anything by being in a meeting being yelled at and blaming everyone. To make this better we needed to come up with an action plan of how to handle similar situations in the future and who and how to call this client now to fix it.
At 1pm I stepped out of the meeting to call the school to get a message to J explaining that I would be a little late to please leave my ticket at the box office. I left him a voice message in his cell just in case he would be able to check before he went on stage. I was super stressed, trying to come up with a way to get out, trying to think of how to gently remind my boss that I was supposed to be someplace else and that it was my first day off in 20, but every time any of us tried to speak he would get madder and madder and yell more and more and we figured it would be best to let him get it out of his system. It was not working; he was like the Energizer bunny that would not stop. At 3pm he dismissed us, with a list of things to get back to him by 9am the next morning.
I ran to my car, broke all the speeding and traffic laws and made it just as the curtain was coming down at the end of the performance. J took his sweet time coming out of the dressing room, all his friends went back in to tell him his Mom was waiting. When he came out he looked so disappointed it broke my heart. I tried to explain while he listened very patiently, but kept saying "Mom you promised you would not miss it this time." As I was driving us to dinner I kept thinking and trying to come up with more reasons to justify why I had allowed this to happen, why had I not stood my ground and just told my boss I could not be at the meeting? Why did I not walk out when I had to? In his immense wisdom J says to me "Mom, what was the worst that could happen if you reminded your boss you had to leave no later than 1pm to make it to my performance?"
I realized then than the fear of not being seen as a competent or a serious professional, of not being seeing as devoted to my career and the Spa, were the reasons for me to have allowed the day to end how it did. Fear is a powerful thing and when we are afraid we create the obstacles to achieve balance, the road blocks and half the stress we endure. I promised myself that I had to figure out a way to fulfill my professional obligations without allowing them to consume me and create days like today. ONLY I could effect true change in how I handle this part of my life. No career or job is more important to me than my precious children; I could not keep putting work first. I feel there was a lesson here from the universe and if it had not happened maybe I would not have started to analyze things differently.
I am still sad and J is still disappointed but I get one more chance tomorrow, when they do the last night of th
e show, and no matter what Mr. R comes up or the Spa is going through, I am getting in the car and leaving exactly at 1pm! As J said "What is the worst that can happen?" My pile of emails and voice messages might be double, but the Spa will still be there and my duties will be waiting for me, that does not sound so impossible or so important for me compared to missing out on seeing my son on stage.
Important Note: "Between the Sheets-A Spa Director's Diary" is Copyright 2005-2007 by Zahira J Coll. All rights reserved. No part of these stories shall be reproduced in any form or by any means, without written permission by the author. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of information contained herein. The stories are autobiographical; however names, characters, places and incidents have been changed to protect identities.








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